I have so many things to say about 2011, and in all honesty, I’m not quite sure how to interpret it all. 2011 was the first full year of change in my life. I can say some terrible and great things about 2010; it was the year I made the change that I desparately needed for the previous 26 years of my life, and I know it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. But 2011 came with so many obstacles, surprises, ups and downs, and millions of new experiences. I have to take in everything in stride; I’ve spent a lot of energy in the past living in regrets. I can’t chalk all my mistakes up to being in my stupid 20’s anymore; I think being 2 years from 30 means I actually really seriously have to start growing up. Does that mean 2012 is the year I have to start being a serious adult?

Let’s take a look at 2011… I visited way too many new countries to even count. I petted zebras, met new cousins in Australia, had little fish eat my feet (never doing that again), got my first tattoo, rode a camel, ate a BigMac in front of Buckingham Palace, prayed to the Hindu gods Shiva and Kali, walked in the floods of Bangkok, went to a braai, fed a hippo bananas, hosted the FACEball, swang from a rope hanging from a tree and jumped off of it into the ocean, took a picture with a python, and played with lion cubs. In that same year, I had broken the heart I gave away the year before only to fall for the same mistakes over and over again. My mom was diagnosed with cancer and I considered quitting.I decided to buy a house. I lost a few friends and the ones that counted became the best ones. I reunited with old friends all over the world, and learned things about myself I’d never known before.I gave people chances that probably didn’t deserve it (but then again, that happens every year). I cried and I partied equally excessively; 2011 has been about all kinds of extremes. I don’t think 2012 will vary much from that.

I could be stupid and say that 2012 is a new year; a chance to rectify things, a chance to change your life, a chance to improve it. But in reality, breaking it down in years only makes sense when you’re in school. Unfortunately, when you’re an “adult” it really all becomes one big blob called life. Why can’t we improve life whenever we want? Why do we fuck up halfway through the year and promise ourselves we’ll make it better next year? It’s just a way for us to keep our faith in ourselves. It’s just a way to keep us from getting down on ourselves. It’s just a way for us to be ok with the mistakes we’ve made because, hey, there’s always next year.

So what will I do for 2012? Okay, I will be stupid. It is a new year, and I don’t want to get down on myself. I will find ways to better myself, and keep discovering life. I’ll continue learning about myself because the learning never stops. And as with the only resolution I’ve made, I’m going to write more. Not try, I will. And here’s my first submission. I hope 2012 works out… fingers crossed.